If ever there were a time in history where insecurities have a common thread amongst humanity, it may very well be this year. While some are better at masking it (no pun intended) than others, it goes without saying we’ve all felt the pressure this year. These times may have inflamed challenges we already battle within ourselves. Especially the challenge of comparison and the feeling of uncertainty. Insecurities such as these manifest when we feel a lack of control or vulnerability. As these feelings creep in, we may revisit older pains and hurts that make us focus on extremely uncomfortable times in our lives. Our thoughts shift from maintaining a healthy mindset to feeling insufficient and fearful.
Surprisingly, regaining control over our insecurities is, at times, as simple a forging ahead, into the unknown. Face the emotions, directly. The more we avoid these intrusive feelings, the more it announces its presence in our lives. Actively acknowledging insecurity’s presence and evaluating how it is impacting our daily choices can be the turning point. You can regain the steadiness and peace you need. You may find balance during these challenging times. Journey with me as we explore a path to rooting ourselves and battling our insecurities.
Iyanla Vanzant once said that “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Comparison is a very painful insecurity. It causes us to self-doubt and feel like we’re not enough. This year, we may have found comfort by staying active on social media; more than normal. That sense of connection during isolation is certainly understandable. Have you paused and reflected on what is going on behind the scenes in your mind and heart? Without knowing it, we often use social media as a platform of comparison. It starts out small and then suddenly overtakes our psyche. We may feel inferior as we begin to compare our coping mechanisms during these times against others’ coping skills. This person seems to be upbeat. This person is staying busy by making crafts. Comparison opens a wealth, or rather, a debt, of additional emotion. We may start devaluing ourselves. We may begin reflecting on previous times where we felt inferior. The best measure would be to acknowledge how much you may be using social media and consider budgeting your time with it. You can logout and take a break. Perhaps, more reasonably, allotting yourself a daily limit may help you clear your mind.
It’s clear how uncertain this year has been from the start. Read any news headline from a given timeframe of 2020 and you’ll be in a pool of dread of fear. Uncertainty breeds so much fear. Fear can be paralyzing. Take a moment to breathe and reflect. You are here at this time for a purpose. You are here in this time, coexisting with millions. Uncertainty does not always take us to a negative destination. Uncertain times have often given blossom to new and necessary beginnings. Seasons come and go in our lives, culminating in good and bad experiences. As these seasons ebb and flow, we grow through those seasons. Pause and reflect on what you’ve learned through this uncertainty. There have been many global, cultural, and humanity-based realizations that we, as a world, have experienced. This can be edifying and healing if we allow it. Maintain your focus on what uncertainty can negatively bring but what have we learned in this process. How can we continue to grow in this unexpected presence of time?
Insecurity has many complexities. If this blog spoke to you and leaves you with additional questions on forging ahead through these times, I would be honored to speak with you and to journey with you. I offer in-person as well as HIPAA-compliant virtual appointments. Contact me, today.